How To Make Your Work Seem Less Like Work

I don’t know where the following quote originated, but I’ve heard it in several places over the years:

                If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.

The idea is that it’s much better to do work that you love. Your passion for your work will make what you do seem less like work and more meaningful and enjoyable. For many people though, this is not an option. Many of you may be reading this and thinking, “my job pays the bills, that’s all it does, and right now I can’t change jobs”.  If you are stuck in a job you don’t love, each day can become a grind. It’s easy to wake up every morning with a feeling of dread about the day ahead. It becomes an almost unbearable weight to live under.  There are ways, however, to make your work seem less like work. Whether you love your job, or you are spending hours each night sending resumes across the country, these thoughts can improve your time at work:

Embrace the relational part of your work.

For work to be meaningful, it has to include a relational component. Odds are that your work for someone or that someone works for you. You may be part of a team that has to work together.  Find ways to encourage those around you. Take time to get to know them if you can.  It’s not always possible to get super close to the people at your work, but finding ways to enjoy the people around you can go a long way toward improving your work environment.

Special note to stay at home moms: this one can be a challenge for you. Your children will not meet your needs for relationship. So, embracing the relational part of your work may mean connecting with other moms in your community.  Children are takers by nature (it’s not malicious, it’s just what 3 year-olds do). They take time, attention, and energy. They are wonderful, but you need other relationships to stay healthy. So, find some other moms, schedule a play date, or call them on the phone. Many single moms feel very alone, and that can make your workday very difficult.

Embrace Your Measurables

Few things can be more frustrating and disheartening than feeling like what you do doesn’t make a difference. If you work with a group of people it’s possible to do an excellent job yourself, and still have the project fail. Or, you can put in tons of quality hours and not be able to see any impact for your effort.  If this is the case you have to find your measurables. Take time and establish some clarity about what you do. Set some clear daily goals for yourself. It may be 10 sales calls, 45 minutes of homework, or getting the dishes cleaned during naptime. Whatever it is, be clear and realistic about what you want to achieve and give yourself some credit when you get it done. Odds are you are getting a lot done, you just aren’t recognizing it!

Embrace God’s Approval

God has created you to find some satisfaction and fulfillment in work. Whether you mow yards, do homework, or raise children, God is pleased with your effort to take care of your part of the world. God is with you and not silently judging you from millions of miles away. Remember to pray about your day. What you do matters to God and more importantly, you matter to God.

I hope your work this week is satisfying and enjoyable, if not, I hope you’ll be able to take some of these steps to make your work seem less like work!

Photo Courtesy of Death To Stock Photo

20 Albums In 20 Weeks: Strange Wilderness by Lord Huron

Many thanks to minister and music connoisseur Josh Rouse for his recommendation of Lord Huron!

What They Think

Spin Magazine considers Strange Trails an album that has unjustly been overlooked.1  Metacritic users rate the albums combine to average a score of 7.5 out of 10.2

What I Think

 I have a soft spot for Indie Folk music. I love Fleet Foxes and retreat to Bon Iver for a calm sound when days get a bit too hectic. While it seems that everyone is taking their shot at an Indie Folk album, Lord Huron hits the mark. The album has a slow and steady pace that settles in as you work your way through the album. It's an interested listen to say the least.  Everyone may be making a folk album right now, but Strange Trails is one that’s worth a listen.

Favorite Lyric

I am not the only traveler

Who has not repaid his debt

I’ve been searching for a trail to follow again

Take me back to the night we met

(from The Night We Met)

Where It Fits

This won’t be in my everyday playlist, but it’s excellent road-trip music. It is also a perfect soundtrack for Fall when things start getting a bit colder. If you haven’t listened to Lord Huron yet, check them out. You’ll be glad you did!

1 - http://www.spin.com/2015/05/spin-overlooked-albums-report-young-guv-lord-huron/

2- http://www.metacritic.com/music/strange-trails/lord-huron

Is Your Work Producing The Life You Want Most?

Children are wonderful. With my daughter starting her senior year of high school, I’ve been even more aware of how valuable she is and our moments together are. The church is quick to praise the benefits of family as a hub of growth and character development, and they are right to do so. Families are a wonderful gift and can be powerfully productive. In their attempts to praise the goodness of families, many within the church have stretched a verse from the Bible beyond its original meaning, leaving many people feeling discouraged and confused. The verse is found in a collection of poems and songs from the Old Testament. It reads,

“Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.”                                                         Psalm 127:4-51

While these verses affirm that children are a wonderful thing, many have gone on from there to state that all families should have as many children as possible, or that the presence or number of children is a direct indication of how pleased God is with you. I’ve sat across from countless couples who have been exposed to this type of thinking. Their efforts to have children have failed, and broken and defeated they’ve asked, “what did we do to make God angry with us? What is it about us that keeps God from giving us children?”

The answer is nothing. God isn’t angry, and they haven’t done anything wrong. We live in a broken world, and everything bears the marks of that brokenness, including our bodies.

So, what do these verses mean?

The poem must be considered in its totality. It’s not a poem about whether you should have children, or why you may be unable to carry them. It’s a poem about work, specifically the kind of work that God calls us to. It opens with the statements that there are ways of building homes and guarding cities that are not effective. The writer also notes that it's pointless to wake up extra early and stay up extra late just to get a bit more done. Working your fingers to the bone may get you ahead in the short term, but it’s not how you were created to live.

For work to be all that it is supposed to be, it must be done with God. Work at its heart is to be a relational activity. Not only should work begin in relationship, but it’s real value is that it also produces relationship.  The poet uses child birth as an example of the type of work that we are called to. Child birth (at its healthiest) comes out of relationship. It also creates new relationship, between child and mother, and child and father, it even adds to the existing relationship between the husband and wife. 

So, the primary thrust of the passage is that the effort and hours of our life should begin with relationship with God and should result in relationship with other people. Those relationships (not just children, but all relationship) are like arrows in the quiver of a warrior. Our relationships make us strong. Lack of relationship can leave us empty. Unhealthy relationships can be incredibly painful.  We don't have full control over our relationships, and some of them may not end well, but they are worth our effort. They are worth attempting. 

So, does your work currently produce deeper and better relationships? Promotions are great. Raises are always welcome. Recognition of our efforts is rewarding. Relationship, however, is the true prize of life. They make life more enjoyable and make us more healthy. May you always have a quiver full!

Photo courtesy of Death To Stock Photo

1- Passage from the New Living Translation

How To Receive The Advice You Desperately Need

As I have written often in this blog, communication is the lifeblood of relationships. That statement is not a new idea, but we often live as if we don’t believe it. Communication takes work. It’s a skill that has to be practiced and maintained. Samuel Johnson wrote about one component of good communication:

                “Advice is seldom welcome. And those who need it most, like it least.”

The ability to listen to things you may not want to hear, or to receive thoughts that may differ from your own is an elite-level communication skill. It’s easier to assume that you have things figured out and simply block out dissenting voices. Ignoring the advice or insight of others shuts down communication and will eventually damage the relationship. Here are three things you can do to be more open to the thoughts of others:

Ask For Input

Your co-workers, volunteers, or family members may not feel comfortable sharing their thoughts with you. This is especially true if you have not received their input well in the past. The people around you have valuable thoughts and insight, but they might need an invitation to share it with you.

Appreciate All Advice

When people share their ideas with you, they are sometimes sharing something very personal. So, listen well. Make eye contact. Allow them to finish their thoughts before you jump in. When they have finished, thank them for their input, not in a quick way to end the conversation, but in a genuine way. Appreciating someone’s thoughts will often cause them to be more open to share them with you again in the future. 

Act On It, Sometimes

It wouldn’t be wise to act on every piece of advice that you are given. Your experience and wisdom matters too.  It’s also a bad idea to never act on what others tell you. If you never change your thinking after talking with someone else they will eventually stop sharing their thoughts. You know you aren’t perfect, that means that there are times when others thoughts are going to be better than yours. Practice the humility required to listen to others and change course when needed.

When you have the ability to hear hard things and to act accordingly, your relationships become more healthy, and you become more productive. It’s not always easy, but it’s a skill that you can develop with practice, and it’s a skill worth having. 

Photo Courtesy of Death To Stock Photo

Book Review: essentialism by Greg McKeown

Living in a fast paced world, seeking to find something else to add to our schedule to get us ahead? Greg McKeown has a radical proposal for you, “do less”. In his book essentialism, McKeown lays out a case for limiting the things we do in order to have a greater impact in what we choose to do. He offers a four part strategy to help begin “an essential way of life”.

The first portion of the book is devoted to the essence of essentialism. What does it mean to carefully choose what parts of our lives may be essential and what parts are not? Next he shifts his attention to exploring what things may be essential for our lives. Are there things we are leaving out of our lives that could make us more fulfilled and productive? The third portion of the book is dedicated to eliminating things from our life that distract us from the essentials. (This was the most challenging part of the book for me, but the most rewarding one.) McKeown closes the book by looking at how to execute the plan. How can we grow to the point where the essentials in our life become almost automatic?

The book is a wonderful addition to the leadership books you may have on the shelf, but is a great book for personal growth in general as well. We all need greater clarity, our daily stress levels attest to that. essentialism offers good insight on how to organize our thoughts and then organize our life. If you are looking for a book to kick off your Fall, essentialism would be a great choice.

20 Albums In 20 Weeks: Siamese Dream by The Smashing Pumpkins (with Special Guest Blogger: Neil McLamb)

My march through 20 albums in 20 weeks continues with an album from my college days. It would be crazy, however, for me to write a review on this album when I know an authority on all things Smashing Pumpkins. So, I've invited the expert himself, Neil McLamb to weigh in on Siamese Dream by The Smashing Pumpkins. Also, if you are not reading his blog, you should start right now! You can find Neil's blog here.

I am honored to be guest-writing on this blog. To top off a great invitation, Michael asked me to write a review of one of my favorite albums. The band who released this album is also my favorite band: The Smashing Pumpkins. Siamese Dream, released in 1993, was the bands’ second album. They were hugely influential during the “alternative rock era”, and this album in particular was the first to have such a heavy influence.  

What They Think

Siamese Dream debuted in the Billboard top ten. It sold over six million copies. A total of four singles were released. Coming from an album with 13 songs (14 if you bought the version released in Japan), four singles is an amazing testament to the quality of music Billy Corgan, James Iha, D’arcy Wretzky, and Jimmy Chamberlin were able to create. The album has been considered not only one of the best albums of the 90’s, but one of the best of all time according to Rolling Stone magazine. Rumors abound that Corgan was difficult to work with due to his demand for perfection. Despite relationship issues he may have caused in the process with his fellow band members, his drive to produce the best material obviously paid off.

What I Think

The opening track begins with an incredible introduction: Chamberlin on drums. Few people can play drums like this guy, and this song allowed him to flaunt that ability. What follows his intro is the rest of one of the most popular songs ever produced by the band: Cherub Rock. It features the “wall of sound” that became synonymous with much of the Pumpkins’ music. This “wall of sound” is beautifully unique and is somehow more soothing than one would ever think a mixture of loud guitar fuzz and distortion could ever be. More subtle tracks are present on the album, like Disarm, Spaceboy, and Luna. No matter what instrumental backing, the quality and depth of the lyrics are consistent. Corgan has a knack for writing good material, and he intertwined his lyrics (along with a little help from Iha) perfectly with the music they produced for this album.

Favorite Lyric

Wrapped my hurt in you
And took my shelter in that pain
The opiate of blame
Is your broken heart, your heart

So now I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
I'll betray my tears
To anyone caught in our ruse of fools

(from song Soma)

Where It Fits

This is honestly an album I cannot get enough of. I love the shorter songs as well as the longer, more “epic”, tracks like Soma that seem to build momentum until you reach the soft, mellow ending that transitions you to the next song. Each time I listen to Siamese Dream, it seems as though I can pick up on new intricacies in the music I never noticed before. I’m a bit old-fashioned, so despite the fact that each track stands great on its own, I highly recommend experiencing this album as a whole, from track one to the end. 

Are Good Activities Damaging Your Family?

Great families don’t just happen. They require thought and effort. The same is true of any grouping of people. You can have great athletes and not have a great team. Companies can hire the best and the brightest and still go bankrupt. Families can be composed of great fathers, mothers, and children and still not function well together as a family. While you can’t run your family like a company or football team, there are similarities that need to be noted. Greg McKeown in his insightful book, essentialism, explains one of the things that families have in common with all teams and companies:

“With no clear direction, people pursue the things that advance their own short-term interests, with little awareness of how their activities contribute (or in some cases, derail) the long-term mission of the team as a whole.”1

It’s the natural instinct of all people to do what they think is best. It may not always be the best decision, but it seems best at the time. Our kids will do what they think is fun, or will make them more popular, or will gain them praise from a coach or teacher. Parents might put in the extra hours that will get them a promotion or raise at work. They might also join clubs or activities for their children that they think will best prepare them for later life. None of these decisions are bad per se. The problem for most families is that while their decisions may be good for individual parts of the family, they do nothing to make the family better as a whole.

We are quick to rail against basketball players that are selfish and never pass to teammates. They may score 60 points a game, but their team suffers. We get angry at CEO’s who give themselves lavish raises while their company struggles. We ignore, however, all of the hours and dollars that are spent on individual persons in our family, while the family grows weaker and less effective.

Is your family doing a lot of good things that may be damaging the family as a whole? Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself:

What is our purpose as a family?

Some companies exist to make money, others exist to raise awareness for issues they feel are important. Many companies don’t know their true purpose (don’t worry about figuring out which companies those may be, they won’t be around long anyway). The purpose of a company drives the behavior of a company. In the same way, the purpose of a family will drive the actions and decisions of that family. If you don’t have a clear purpose, you have no way of knowing if you are winning or losing.

Will the activities we have on our calendar help us fulfill our purpose?

Once you know your purpose, you can use it to gain greater clarity about what to do with your time. There are a thousand good options to engage in every week, but only a few that are best for your family. Having a clear purpose allows you to find those things and commit to them. Understanding your purpose also allows you to say “no” to things that seem good without feeling guilty or unsure of yourself.

Does my family know our purpose?

Having  purpose is useless if your family doesn't know it. Your family can’t support their purpose if it isn’t talked about and explained from time to time. Clear purpose makes discipline and sacrifice possible. For example,  it’s hard for your teenager to  not obsess over new game system he’s been wanting. It’s easier to put off getting it if he knows that the family is saving up for a great vacation in a couple of months.

These questions aren’t easy and will require a good deal of thought and communication in your family, but they are critical to your success as a team. A clear sense of direction also makes the journey a lot more enjoyable. So, set aside a couple of hours on your calendar this week and begin asking the hard questions. You’ll be glad you did!

Photo Courtesy of Death To Stock Photo

1- Greg McKeown, essentialism (New York, NY: Crown Publishing, 2014)