In the past, most people did their best to remain quiet when
others stumbled or failed, but that’s not the case anymore. Social media allows
us to have an opinion and still stay miles away from the people involved.
Anybody can be brave from far away. So,
social media has added courage to our
pettiness. Facebook, Twitter, and the blogosphere are packed with vicious
attacks on people who have messed up. The comments are angry and vindictive.
Sometimes they are even cloaked in religious talk, people taking the “moral
high ground”. Those posts are the hardest of all to read.
Recently a well-known actress quipped that sweatpants are
the leading cause of divorce in America. This statement wasn’t made as part of
a prepared statement to reporters who had asked about the disheartening rate of
divorce in America. It wasn’t an attack against the sweat pant industry. It
wasn’t an attack against women and their choice of clothing. It was simply a
bit of humor. A quick, light-hearted comment that was meant to make you smile
for a second and then move on with your day. But from the response she received
you would have thought that Benedict Arnold had come back from the dead to take
over America, and had brought Adolf Hitler with him. The “righteous
indignation” flooded computer screens and phones until she and her husband had
to publicly respond to calm to storm.
So, why do we do this? Why are we so ready to jump on anything or anyone who seems even a bit off? Every
person who attacked the sweat pants comment has said and done things 10x worse
at some point. I know I have. So, why do we attack? Because we love to see
people fail. It’s ugly, but it’s true. But our attacks while leveled at others,
are really saying a lot about us. The core of every nasty comment posted on the
internet comes from this deeply held belief:
If everybody is messed up, then my mess won't seem so big.
We know we are messed up, but if everyone else is too, then
it doesn’t feel like such a big deal. So we make sure that every misstep,
blunder, and outright failure is documented, highlighted, and proclaimed for
the world to see. We are overjoyed when someone says the wrong thing or does
something inappropriate. In fact, they just need to appear to have messed up or
been accused of wrong doing and Facebook will bust at the seams with cyber
outrage. This sort of action doesn’t make us feel less broken as people. We are
still broken, imperfect people, but we now become angry, judgmental, broken
people. So, here are three thoughts to consider to help you address your mess and
keep from becoming “that” angry
person on social media:
God Always Forgives You
You won’t feel better about your mess after blasting other
people about theirs. If you want to deal with your failure and mess it can
happen, however. God will forgive you. While the consequences of our actions won’t
always go away, our guilt will. God forgives. People who know and embrace forgiveness
aren’t as likely to bash others on Twitter….
People Sometimes Forgive
You
If your failures have hurt others it’s important to own it
and apologize. Sometimes people forgive, sometimes they don’t. You can’t
control that. What you can control is being honest with yourself and whomever
you have hurt. Get it off your chest, avoid excuses, and go on with your life.
You Need To Forgive You
Sometimes that last part is hard, the “go on with your life”
part. Sometimes our actions or words do incredible damage and it feels like we should hang on to our guilt and beat ourselves up. Living in your guilt doesn’t help
anyone. Give yourself a
break. Let your past go, and oftentimes, all of that pent up anger will go with
it.
God has a better plan for your mess than you do. We want to
cover it up or hide it behind someone else’s mess. God wants to forgive you,
and He wants you to forgive yourself. Only then, can we show others grace
instead of criticism, at home, work, and on the internet.
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