Friday Finds - June 13

In hopes of making your Friday the 13th better, here's some stuff you might like to check out.....


This is a pic of an ultimate frisbee game I was in last summer. I don't know why I added this, but here it is.... (and yes, of course we won.)

Did you know that there are two kinds of busy? Did you also know that the kind of busy you choose can affect your efficiency and quality of life? This is what leadership guru Seth Godin had to say about it….

Seth Godin: Two Kinds of Busy

Did you know that when you are going through painful experiences your fear and tension can actually make your pain worse? A brilliant video from the brilliant Sarah Bessey…

Sarah Bessey: Lean In

And finally, let’s put some chocolate myths to rest... 

The Truth About Chocolate

I hope your weekend includes lots of frisbees and chocolate!!!!

Letting It Go And Laying It Down

I’ve given a couple of talks about forgiveness lately, so the topic has been on my mind a lot, how hard it is to do and how great it is to finally let something go and be free. Money will never change the world, neither will power. Forgiveness, on the other hand, opens doors that money and power will never touch. I stumbled upon David Crowder’s new album Neon Steeple today and have been listening and re-listening to the track Come As You Are. “Lay down your burdens, lay down your shame….earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal…”  It’s hitting home, click on the link below and give it a listen!..... And remember, every ounce of our past that we can let go of makes our present more peaceful and our future more bright!

Crowder: Come As You Are

Inspiration (Part XIII)

"Fight one more round. When your feet are so tired that you have to shuffle back to the center of the ring, fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired you wish your opponent would crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round - remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped."     -James Corbett (Heavyweight Boxing Champion, 1892)  


Some days are a grind from sun up til sundown. If today is one of those days for you, I hope you will find the courage to fight one more round! Hang in there! When everything else breaks down, persistence wins!

2 Ways To Battle Your Fear of Intimacy

The one thing that most limits your relationships may be something you’ve completely overlooked. You may fear that you are not funny enough, or attractive enough, or intelligent enough. You may doubt your abilities to carry on conversations. But these things pale in comparison to the number one killer of relationships: fear of intimacy.

Fear of intimacy drives us to avoid connecting deeply with other people. We are afraid of the thought of people knowing us too deeply, perhaps because we fear people won’t like us if they know us that well. This fear can affect our romantic relationships, our family relationships, and even relationships at work and with friends. If you find yourself backing away from people that you know you should be able to trust, here are a couple of things to think about….

Intimacy isn’t bad, but people sometimes can be.

It may be that you’ve been hurt before (most of us have), and you may have come to believe that the reason you were hurt is that you allowed yourself to open up to someone else. It’s possible that you were simply trying to continue to grow in the relationship, but when you opened up, someone used what you shared against you.  Relationships won’t grow without trust and intimacy. Intimacy is not bad in and of itself. People on the other hand, can act in very bad ways, and many times they can use your attempts to relate, to hurt or betray you.  It may be that your problem isn’t intimacy, but the people you’ve chosen to try to relate with. Although opening up again to someone in the future may be scary, it’s a necessary step if you want to have a healthy and satisfying life. Don’t let bad past experiences distort your present choices!

Intimacy isn’t bad, but too much of it too soon can be.

Intimacy, like a brick wall, must be built one brick at a time. Trust grows over time, and so does closeness in relationships. Opening up too much and moving too quickly can put you in a dangerous place. It will either overwhelm the person you are trying to relate to, or it will de-value what you are sharing (sometimes both). Remember, even small things can build a relationship. Every talk doesn’t need to be an earth-shattering, heart-exploding, share-everything sort of talk. Take your time and share the small stuff. You need to be patient as you open up, and the person you are relating to needs to prove themselves worthy of your trust.

So, if you find yourself lonely, hurt, or both, don’t just shut down and try to live off surface-level, empty relationships. It won’t be satisfying!  Intimacy is good even though it’s risky. So, take your time and allow people to earn your trust. The fears you’ve accumulated over the years will lessen, and you’ll find quality relationships emerging in your world. 

Friday Finds - June 6

Looking for something good to check out online this weekend? Forget searching around and start here instead:

Finally a post that is both inspiring and helpful, a guide to napping…

Complete Guide to Napping

Know who you probably don’t want to quote on a giant billboard to support your children’s ministry??….Adolf Hitler. Yeah, this is real.

Children's Ministry Billboard Nightmare

Next to llamas squirrels are nature’s most courteous animal…. I can’t stop watching this!

A Courteous Squirrel

Turns out not everyone is putting up a metal building with functional chairs and huge speakers to be their church….(Diary of an Arts Pastor is a brilliant blog to follow)

Liturgical Art on Mission

I’ve always loved the White Stripes, and I love Jack White. I think he’s brilliant…or insane…those aren’t incredibly far apart sometimes. Check out his new album Lazaretto….

Jack White's Lazaretto

Best Ever: Chocolate

Almost everyone enjoys chocolate (Everyone except the spies that the aliens sent here to find out our secret weaknesses so as to prepare our planet for destruction). If you are looking for the best place on our planet for chocolate, look no further than the French Broad Chocolate Lounge. Asheville, NC is busting at the seams with amazing food options. Wherever you choose to eat the next time you are in Asheville save a little room for dessert at French Broad. Their hot chocolate (made from real chocolate) is so good that the government will likely be instituting restrictions against it in the near future.  Milk Chocolate and Dark Chocolate are standard hot chocolate options, but my favorite is the Maple and Sea Salt, with the Cayenne and Cinnamon running a close second. You can choose from brownies and flourless chocolate torts, or grab some individual chocolates and cheesecake. There is really no way to go wrong. I highly recommend adding a French Almond Macaron to whatever you buy. I don’t want to over-hype it, but I think it is the Mona Lisa of pastries. So, make a point to drop in to French Broad Chocolate Lounge when you can, and don’t forget to bring me back a Macaron!

What or where is your best chocolate ever????  Let us know what you think either by responding here on the blog or on Facebook!!!

How To Find Peaceful Sleep

Few things are more important to your overall well-being than sleep. Sleep impacts you physically, mentally, and emotionally. In fact, if you review your past a bit, chances are you’ll find that a great number of the bad decisions you’ve made in the past came either late at night, or after a lack of quality sleep. Even though sleep is critical to our health, many of us ignore its importance and have too many nights when we either sleep fitfully or not at all. I have a quote by Victor Hugo (see above) pinned above my desk to serve as inspiration and a reminder. Launching off of that quote, here are a couple of things you can do to improve your sleep and thereby improve your life:

Stay Courageous (Have courage for the great sorrows of life…)

Courage is not a lack of fear. It’s continuing to move your feet in the presence of fear. There will be moments in your life that will break your heart and cause you to fear, it’s inevitable. Sorrows are a part of life. Even though you will experience fear, you do not have to allow that fear to control you. Courage is what happens when you continue to push forward in life when everything inside of you wants to quit or give up. Over time that sort of courage will actually cause our fear to diminish, so stay courageous!

 Stay Patient (…and patience for the small ones…)

There are times when it feels that you will never get where you want to go. A thousand things seem to get in your way, slow you down, and cause you to doubt yourself. Obsessing over all of the little challenges in life (which don’t always feel so little) will keep your brain in constant, futile motion, and will rob you of sleep. So, stay patient and stay the course. Keep doing what you believe in. Keep dreaming. When your mind is filled with hopes for tomorrow instead of dread, sleep comes more easily.

Work Hard (…and when you have laboriously…)

Nothing in life comes easy, so whatever you are looking to accomplish or achieve will likely require a great deal from you. Investing your blood, sweat, and tears in something you believe in is exhausting, but it’s the sort of exhausting that leads to restful sleep. So work hard at whatever is in front of you, and when it comes time to rest, you’ll be glad you did.

Stay in today (…accomplished your daily task…)

This may be the toughest of the four things mentioned so far. We all have daily tasks and responsibilities, and looking ahead to plan for the future is a not a bad thing. Living in the future, however, is another thing entirely. As much as we would like to, we cannot go back and change our past. Also, we cannot zoom ahead to next Thursday to see what problems might be lurking for us there. All that we can control is the moments that we have in the present. When we stay present to our current place and time, life feels more manageable. There is a clear place to begin, and when it’s time for bed, a clear time to stop. As you crawl into bed, give yourself permission to sleep, reminding yourself that you can’t crawl into tomorrow until tomorrow comes. 

If life feels chaotic and your head feels cloudy, sleep is the first suspect to investigate. I hope these thoughts help you find peaceful sleep and much needed rest.