Turning Courage Into Action: How To Begin To Trust Again

So, you’ve come to realize the importance of trust in forming and maintaining quality relationships, and you’ve found the courage to try to trust again. So, what do you do next? The following three steps will help you begin the process of developing trust for others.

Start Small

Trust builds one brick at a time. It’s not safe or wise to put your full trust in anyone right away. Start small. Choose to trust a friend or co-worker in something basic. Let them show you that they are trustworthy. Jesus talked about this principle in a story from the Gospel of Matthew. There, a wealthy man entrusts his workers with money. Those who handled it well and invested wisely were rewarded with bigger and better things to invest. The same is true with trust. When you learn to trust someone in the small things, and they handle it well, it's easier to trust them with larger things. 

Evaluate and Invest

When we are afraid to trust others, it's easy to ignore the ways that they are already being trustworthy. When you have been hurt, you become wired to more quickly notice how people let you down, and especially how people may hurt you again. Take some time and be honest about your relationships. More than likely, there are already people around you who have shown themselves to be worthy of your trust.  Some people are healthier than others. When you determine who they are, choose to invest more trust in them. 

Evaluate and Divest

As important as it is to be honest with yourself about the people in your life that are deserving of your trust, it’s also crucial to be honest with yourself about the people who have proven themselves untrustworthy. If people continue to lie to you or use you to make themselves feel good, it’s time to step away. Some people are a bad relational investment, and it’s not loving to continue to trust them. It’s dangerous.

Learning to trust others can be a scary experience, but God created trust to be the catalyst for growing relationships. When things get tough, stop and talk to God about what you are feeling and ask for clarity. He is on your side, and more than anyone else, He is someone you can trust.

Good luck in tomorrow’s relationships!

Life Without Trust: How Your Fear of Trusting May Be Costing Your More Than You Realize

I’ve come to the realization that I am not an overly trusting person. I’ve only recently come to this realization and to test it, I decided to make a list of the people/things I distrust immediately. Here’s what I have so far:

I don’t trust…

            Coffee that comes in a vacuum sealed bag

               

People who say, “I know exactly what you are feeling…”

               

Warranties of any kind

               

TV News Shows

               

Anyone who says, “I believe in this product, this is not a pyramid scheme…”

Anyone who introduces me to someone who says, “I believe in this product, this is not a pyramid scheme…”

Anything from Taco Bell

People who show me the air filter from my car every time I get the oil changed

Anyone whose first name is a city (Never play pool against someone named Memphis Jones)

People who never make eye contact

People who make too much eye contact

Long car rides with people who do trust Taco Bell

Trust is a fragile thing. Once it’s been broken by someone or something, it takes a great deal of courage to trust again. On top of that, we live in a world that seems to be less trustworthy than ever before. TV is filled with ads promising things that their products can never deliver. Job loyalty seems almost non-existent. Many employers appear to be out only for themselves. Employees will jump from job to job chasing the next big thing. As a culture, our lack of trust has left us terrified of commitment. People are abandoning marriages in favor of living together. Many people prefer online friendships over real-life interactions.

This is not to say that we should blindly trust others. Choosing not to trust isn’t always a bad thing. Trusting someone or something that’s unreliable can be costly. You could lose money, waste time, or even have your heart broken. But there is a place for trust. In fact, trust is necessary for a full and enjoyable life. To put it plainly:

Relationships are impossible without trust, and life is meaningless without relationships.

Are you struggling to trust others? Do you not trust yourself and the decisions you make? Are your relationships suffering as a result? If so, choose today to give trust another try. It’s scary but it’s worth it. If you are not sure where to begin, check back in later this week for the second installment of this post entitled Turning Courage Into Action: How To Begin To Trust Again.